Learning to Relax

I recently had a particularly stressful Friday. I've been dealing with this level of stress thanks in large part to the Coronavirus forcefully pulling us out of the lives we knew. As many of us retreat into our homes, insecurity, restlessness, and anxiety have been keeping us company. Today, my body started to feel sick from the kind of stress that should never be allowed to run unchecked. But a realization hit me. Even though I grew up in a stressful home and learned to struggle with anxiety, I hadn't felt that kind of stress in a long time (dramatic pause) until the pandemic hit. I had reigned in my stress and anxiety with help from several professors at Cal Poly Pomona's kinesiology department. A need to fill out a college schedule pushed me to take relaxation/mindfulness courses. I had no idea what I would learn. It was a blessing in disguise. The professors taught me a great deal about what stress does to the body. I followed the advice as closely as I could and I remember getting better and doing better at the things that needed to get done. So when that feeling of anxiety and unease started to creep back in, I realized that I WASN'T USED TO FEELING A HIGH LEVEL OF STRESS ANYMORE! (Irony.)

With that in mind, I decided that I owe it to myself, and those who depend on me, to return to those principles that kept me emotionally and mentally centered. I aim to return to mindfulness.

This means going back to the relaxation techniques I learned and sharing those here once a week.

I will be taking it step-by-step, relearning those things that make up the foundation of mindfulness. Ever the journalist. I will give myself a question that I (and anyone else who stumbles onto this site) will answer for myself (ourselves?). And then I'll move on through the different exercises that I learned in my mindfulness courses.

This Week's Question: What is it that is stressing you? Be as specific as you can. Many of us are stressed about being locked in and losing work. Ask yourself specifically what is behind that stress and fear? Is it not finding another job? Is it having to juggle work at home with helping children in the home finish school work? Is it the fear of becoming ill? Or are you dealing with a sick loved one?

Whatever the fear or stressor, it might be time to stop carrying the burden alone. Understand that self-destruction only makes things worse. I've been carrying the fear of losing my job close to the vest. Ugly scenarios run unrestrained through my mind. "Here we are again," I say to myself. "Are we facing homelessness again? Just when I had gotten us back on our financial feet, I lost a job I had so worked so hard to earn. My family and I are now forced to again rely on one income."

What is the solution?

There is no quick or easy answer. However, we cannot throw our hands up. Depression robs us of possible moments of joy and chances to find a way out of our situation. My mother always said, "While on your travel along the road of life, don't look down, you might miss a turn onto a better road." 

Not much will run smoothly until we take care of ourselves.

Exercise of the week: Diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing.

Often used by asthmatics and people with other breathing problems, belly breathing is the simplest technique to help lower blood pressure and heart rate. It also lowers levels of harmful hormones. Those hormones could be a topic for another day. Suffice to say that our bodies release stress hormones into our bodies that become harmful if not controlled.

How to do it: 

• You can sit or can lie down. Choose a position that is most comfortable and that will allow you to breathe deeply.
• Make sure your body becomes relaxed once you are in position.
• Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
• Take a deep breath in through your nose. The hand on your belly should feel your stomach rising as it's "filling" with air.  Hold your breath as long as is comfortable, but not longer than 10 seconds.
• Quickly make your lips into an "O" shape and breathe out as if you're blowing out the candles on your birthday cake.
•  8 to 10 of these breaths should be enough but you can do as many or as little as you like.

That's it. The American Lung Association provides a video with instruction. While the video addresses those with asthma and COPD, the tips apply to everyone. You can practice this at any time you need to.

Until next time, much love everyone. Remember you are not alone.